When Love And Fear Mix
by MISSsweety63
Summary: Thinking of love brings fear, thinking of fear brings fearful experiences, fearful experiences cause scary memories to flashback. When all these blend together in Nova's mind, the result is quite complicated. This story is the result! A different way of describing Spova! Rated T for slight horror.


**MISSsweety63: I was listening to 'My Dilemma' by Selena Gomez and 'Snow White Queen' by Evanescence!**

**And a story entered my mind… and forced me to spend some effort on it.**

**So, like usual, I opened the Microsoft Word Document and started putting the story into action…..**

**I started unleashing my imagination!**

**I also included the two songs in the fic… but changed a few words to match with the story.**

**Disclaimer: MISSsweety63 (sniff sniff) doesn't own SRMTHFG! (sniff sniff) Wish she did! (sniff sniff)**

**MISSsweety63: *handling the disclaimer a tissue* On to da story:**

***SPOVAISIMMORTAL*** **(Dat's da border! Thumbs up if u agree :P)**

**When Love And Fear Mix**

Written in Nova's POV (except the song):

I remained in my bed, awake, staring at the ceiling.

I tried to drift into slumber quite many times, but to no avail.

I kept turning on either sides of the bed, I turned the pillow, I tried to sleep in every possible position, but couldn't.

Why can't I sleep? I keep wondering….not for being exhausted from the battle we had that day but….but….

But for fear from the terror I feel when I drift into my thoughts, my memories, the sad memories.

Why can't I think of a good thing? I can't escape these thoughts… I CANT ESCAPE THEM! However hard I try, however far I run, they're stalking me!

Do you think I'm really the brave, strong, confident warrior you've seen pounding the enemies till death? Do you really think so? NO! Behind this confident, courageous warrior is a nothing but a little coward! I admit I'M A COWARD!

At first it was pretty hard hiding my fear but by time it became easy, too easy, I managed to get hold of my nerves, I managed to hide my fear, and it made me happy and satisfied.

But since happy times are always short, I don't wanna be negative but in my life happiness and peace doesn't last long, another stage of my problem appeared.

_**You make me so upset sometimes…**_

_**I feel like I could lose my mind…**_

_**The conversation goes nowhere…**_

_**Cause you're never gonna take me there…**_

_**And I know, what I know, and I know you're not perfect to me...**_

_**Yeah I know, what I know, and I know it's not meant to be…**_

The next stage of my problem came rushing to knock the sleep from my eyes, to keep me in a continuous state of insomnia, my dilemma came, I had to decide whether to hide my emotions, in more accurate words, hide my LOVE, bury it deep within my heart till it's ceased or not…..

_**He's my dilemma…**_

_**One half of me wants ya…**_

_**And the other half wants to forget…**_

_**My, my, my dilemma from the moment I met ya…**_

_**I just can't get you out of my head…**_

_**And I tell myself to run from you but I find myself attracted to…**_

_**My dilemma…**_

_**My dilemma…**_

_**It's you…**_

_**It's you…**_

I was torn between two sides, one of them told me to listen to my heart and let my emotions flow freely within me, told me that I gotta admit it, to myself before anyone.

The other side told me that the only thing following my emotions, working with the quote I've always believed in, listening to my feelings will bring me nothing more than sorrow and regret…. It told me to forget about it, told me that I'm a warrior and that warriors don't have emotions.

The first side returned and denied, saying that it's my right to have emotions as I want, as my heart desires, said that I maybe a warrior, but before being a warrior, I'm a living thing and living things have feelings… It assured me that I'm no lifeless cybernetic machine designed to fight, designed to be savage and vicious….. begged me to do it, to let my emotions flow deep within me.

The second side told me to ignore this nonsense and return to myself, reminded me with his negative side…told me to FORGET ABOUT HIM!

Increasing my deadly headache, the first side came again and screamed that he has never been and will never be nonsense and reminded me that nobody is perfect.

_**And I know, what I know, and I know you're not perfect to me...**_

_**Yeah I know, what I know, and I know it's not meant to be…**_

_**He's my dilemma…**_

_**One half of me wants ya…**_

_**And the other half wants to forget…**_

_**My, my, my dilemma from the moment I met ya…**_

_**I just can't get you out of my head…**_

_**And I tell myself to run from you but I find myself attracted to…**_

_**My dilemma…**_

_**My dilemma…**_

_**It's you…**_

_**It's you…**_

And those sides continued their battle in my head all night!

BUT DAT WAS NOT THE PROBLEM!

I knew the first side is correct! I was well aware of it!

The problem was that I'm scared, I'm terrified that my decision turns out to be wrong, my choice turns out to be incorrect, scared that the second side turns out to be correct, scared of regret and pain & I couldn't decide my next move.

I WAS A COWARD! And I never deny I still am a coward.

But I can't survive without seeing him, hearing his voice…

Hearing his flirts, which scared me more and more…

And increased my mental battle…

Which made me always mad on the outside, but sometimes happy on the inside…

_**Oh! I can survive without you…**_

_**Your smile, your eyes, the way you make me feel inside…**_

_**I can survive without you…**_

_**But I don't wanna, I don't wanna…**_

_**Oh! Oh!...**_

_**You make me so upset sometimes…**_

But I failed to find a cache for my real feelings except anger and fury, for which I apologized every night, but he couldn't hear me!

I blamed myself for my behavior, but believe me this is the only cover I could make, the only cache I could build!

My state was like being suspended in the air, ground under me and sky above me….

Either fly to the sky, or land on the ground.

The sky may give me happiness, but fear as well.

The ground will not give me fear, but sorrow.

Life with him is the sky that will grant me perpetual happiness.

Life without him is the ground that will give me unending sorrow and regret.

_**He's my dilemma…**_

_**One half of me wants ya…**_

_**And the other half wants to forget…**_

_**My, my, my dilemma from the moment I met ya…**_

_**I just can't get you out of my head…**_

_**And I tell myself to run from you but I find myself attracted to…**_

_**My dilemma…**_

_**My dilemma…**_

_**It's you…(x6)**_

_**It's you… (x6)**_

_**My, my, my dilemma!**_

I knew he's the one for me, but the fear still resided with me again.

Not all fear of him, not fear of the choice but the fear ON HIM as well!

Fear that if I let my emotions flow freely within me, something bad happens to him, and I have to spend my life with sorrow on him.

In a case as such, life would be of no meaning, and use.

I've already experienced the sadness of losing a beloved person, and it really, really hurts. I was scared of experiencing the same pain and sorrow, not again.

I didn't wanna let my emotions flow, I didn't want my love to increase, I didn't wanna my fears to appear! I didn't want any of it to happen, but it wasn't in my hand, it was out of my control!

But however hard I tried not to admit this truth to myself, tried not to listen to my feelings I did listen to them, I did admit the truth to myself, after years of denial and hiding, I surrendered to the truth.

And with me knowing and admitting that I do love him, my love for him began increasing in my head and so did the fear, the fear of regret began scaring me more and more, but it was nothing compared to the fear of losing him….

The mere thought made me shiver, but what if it happened?

What if I lost him, what if my dream world became a nightmare?

These questions ran through my mind every night, every night worse than the before.

Although this love still hid behind its cache, the fear increased, the terror multiplied!

It kept on increasing until it became my greatest fear.

Yes, my greatest fear is losing him.

It lived in my nightmares until one day, all these nightmares became reality.

I thought I was dreaming but no, it was REALITY!

The unexpectable happened when he joined the evil side and all my fears became true.

I silently cried for days and regret became apparent.

Why did I listen to my feelings?

Why did I cause myself so much pain and sorrow?

I blamed myself, now what I feared most has come true.

But that wasn't going to solve anything, it was going to complicate it more and more.

I had to do something, I may was scared but I wouldn't give in, I wouldn't surrender to my fate!

I had faith, maybe a little, but it still existed. I had faith in him, he must be back.

I was patient and hopeful, maybe these two risked my life but without him, life wasn't of much value, actually life wasn't of any value!

Do you really think I could hurt him? I would never do! Even if it meant my life! If I even thought of doing so, my limbs would become numb before hurting him, even by a small bruise.

I pleaded him to return to his senses, but the evil was too strong and so became my faith and hope.

My life was literally at risk when he suspended me in the air with his magnets, tearing my circuitry apart, but, it didn't matter at all.

I was in pain, not physical pain, psychological one, and it hurt severely. Imagine losing the one you love, how would it feel?

I begged, I requested, I pleaded, but to no avail! It was useless! Until I finally surrendered, and demolished my cache with my fist. I revealed the truth to him, causing my fears to return to their own residence, my head, causing him to snap out of it completely, causing him to return, to me.

My happiness was unbelievable, words betray me when I come to describe how much happy and relieved I was that I ran my hand over his cheek and gave him a peck on it. At that moment I swore to have seen his eyes change into hearts, but returned to my mind when I realized that this only happens in cartoons, and this was reality!

Although I'm the one who demolished the cache that hid my love for years but it was worth bringing him back, and I don't regret it but wonder at myself, at getting the guts to demolish it, getting the guts to admit the truth.

Even though the cache is no more but I'm still scared, I don't know of what, maybe of losing him again. Maybe I already admitted but my final decision isn't clear, not yet.

I love him, and this is literal. But the question is: Will my final decision be him forever? Or will I change my mind?

If it was him forever, will I regret it? If I changed my mind, will I blame myself for missing the opportunity?

I'm still scared of the consequences of my decision.

He's my dilemma!

I try to drift into sleep again, but I fail miserably, these thoughts aren't willing to let go of me, and with the mention of the word 'Fear', my spooky thoughts return to my mind.

The spooky thoughts residing in their own cache, residing behind an angry, confident face, they stalk me!

No one likes thinking of scary things, scary memories, because of it, I try to think of a happy thing, a happy memory but I, like usual, fail.

I'm grateful, quite thankful that I can hide these fears, and every terrifying experience, every scary memory, excluding being about losing him, act as a brick in my unbreakable wall, supporting it and strengthening it.

This was my first biggest fear, before letting my emotions flow freely within me, and I'm grateful that Mandarin thought it was my biggest fear and used it against me, when I lost my nerves, when my cache temporarily disappeared, exposing my real fears to reality.

And with the mention of Mandarin, more terrifying memories come to me, scary flashbacks flood into my mind, I remember my horrible experiences with him, though I try not to, I try to bury them deep within me, I try to hide them in my mind but to no avail.

Why can't my fears leave me alone?

Why can the flashbacks of my fearful experiences not run in my mind?

Why can't they cease?

I don't know!

I try harder and harder, but only gain more fear… remember more terror. I might have already thought of my most terrifying experience, but I had more, among them there's one other experience which made me feel what fear really is, what not being safe really is.

And the unstoppable flashbacks of this horrible experience flashed into my mind…

FLASHBACK (Normal P.O.V.)is italic and da song is bold:

_After five hours of tiring training, Nova steps out of the training room to find Mandarin saying sternly, relentlessly: 'Your training isn't over yet! Get inside!'_

'_But I'm exhausted, please give me a break!' *pleadingly*_

'_GET INSIDE!'_

'_Please, I've been doing it continuously for over 5 hours, I can't hold on anymore!'_

'_Don't you realize the burden on our shoulders? Don't you know the fate of the city is in our hands?'_

'_I know, but I'm very tired, I swear there's no any ounce of energy left in me!'_

'_You fragile dork! If you can't hold on such easy training how do you think you'll be able to defend the city?'_

'_But-'_

'_No buts, I'm your leader here and you better do what I ask or else!'_

_She was really exhausted, she could barely walk, she placed her arms on the wall to avoid falling and went inside again and muttered 'Jerk' The door closed, leaving her alone in the room._

_She wondered at his reason behind such wrath, behind such cruelty._

_He heard her mutter and frowned, intending to revenge. He set the training level at 10, leaving her to deal with the deadly weapons on her own. _

_**You don't know me…**_

_**Now or ever…**_

_Soon, desperate screams of anguish were heard from the training room, and he stood there, watching as the magnets knocked her to the wall..._

_As the rockets were shot at her fragile figure…_

_As deadly saws were about to tear her into pieces…_

_As the laser guns shot their missiles at her…_

_As she tried desperately to fight these weapons…_

_As she pleaded him to stop his torment…_

_As she apologized with pain…_

_As she was shocked at what he was doing to her…shocked at his attempt to end her existence…_

_As she lost all her power to think of a solution… _

_As her begging voice kept fading until it was inaudible…_

_As she surrendered to her fate and passed out, leaving her lifeless corpse for the weapons to attack…_

_**I can't believe you'd do these things to me…**_

_He stood there watching the spectacle, as if it was a comedy show…A very hilarious comedy show….HE STOOD THERE LAUGHING AS THE MACHINES WERE PUTTING AN END TO HER FRAGILE BODY! And went out of the place to prove his innocence._

_**And you just stand there and stare as my world divides…**_

***SPOVAISIMMORTAL***

_Her vision was blurred, she could hardly open her eyes to see. _

_She thought she was dead! She thought this world was the afterlife, but no, she survived._

_She found herself in the sickbay, an anxious team looking at her, worry was obvious in their eyes… But she didn't know if it was real or not!_

_She didn't know if it was Mandarin only or all of them…_

_She didn't feel safe with her family, for the first time in her life!_

_Hallucinations started running in her terrified mind, hallucinations of them revealing their fangs and killing her. She started screaming like a psycho 'GET AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE! PLEASE!' They tried to stop her but to no avail, until they drugged her with a small amount of sedative, calming her down._

'_Nova, calm down. The panel has malfunctioned.' She heard Antauri telling her._

'_No, he wanted to get rid of me. It didn't malfunction.' She said, pointing at Mandarin._

'_Nova, what's wrong? How can you accuse me of such thing? Why will I even do such thing?' He asked._

'_Stop denying you-' Antauri placed his arm on her mouth. _

'_You really need to calm down. Gibson, please explain.' He said as he removed his hand._

'_I believe the pain that she suffered had a mental effect on her. Let's be glad her body could make it.' Gibson replied._

'_What do you mean?' Sprx asked, quite anxious from the spectacle he viewed._

'_He means that she became mental and started having weird hallucinations.' Mandarin explained, making Sprx stare in shock._

_He replied, startled: 'A-and you h-have a cure, d-don't you?' _

'_No, most mental illnesses have no cure, but perhaps if I give her some sedatives, her nerves might calm down and she will return to normal.' Gibson replied, preparing the sedatives._

_He took her arm and drugged the sedatives into it, causing her to drift into sleep._

***SPOVAISIMMORTAL***

_She woke up with fear and fury, to find herself in her sleeping pod and no one around._

_All words meaning terror and fear when combined weren't enough to describe her state. She shivered, although the weather wasn't cold at all. She didn't know what to do, what to say, whatever she did, they'll call her a psycho, they described her as mentally ill._

_Were they true? Were these really hallucinations? Was she really mental?_

_But she saw him staring at her while these weapons killed her, LAUGHING! …She was sure, but had no evidence._

_She was scared of his intentions, she was scared of him, all of them were scared of Mandarin. Whenever he yells, she becomes terrified and searches for a place to hide. Now he wanted to obliterate her completely. How could she describe the fear? How could she find a solution? No, an escape! She wanted to escape the whole deal!_

_Suddenly, the door opened, and walking from it was her current nightmare: Mandarin. He entered, pure hate on his face and terror on her face. He walked closer to her and said, in pure hate and anger: 'I shall reap my payment for being called a jerk, TOMORROW'S NIGHT!' Her shivering increased as he walked out of the room, she felt her limbs bind from fear, and so her thinking did._

_**Stoplight, lock the door…**_

_**Don't look back…**_

_**Shiver in the dark…**_

_**And hide from you…**_

_**All of you…**_

_**You'll never know the way your words have haunted me…**_

_What did he mean? What was he going to do to her the next night? What will the payment be? Her life? What will she do? Thought confused her, drove her into craziness! She was well aware that she won't be able to escape whatever Mandarin had in mind for her. She decided to surrender to her fate, standing in front of Mandarin wouldn't bring her anything but more pain, more torture._

_**I can't save my life…**_

_**Though nothing I shiver for is more tormenting…**_

_**I'm losing my mind…**_

_That night she neither could sleep, nor could think. The only thing she could do was locking her room's door, knowing he had the key, and trying to think of something that is not terror but failing. She tried not to think of what happened but to no benefit. _

_She felt as if Mandarin was stalking her, as if he knew every thought crossed her mind, discovered every attempt planned by her scared cranium. It was the scariest night of her life. Whenever she drifted into sleep, she would find him in her dreams and wakes up with terror…. She felt as if he was there everywhere, her thoughts, her room, her dreams, her mind! EVERYWHERE!_

_**I can't escape the twisted way you think of me…**_

_**I feel you in my dreams and I don't sleep…**_

_**I don't sleep…**_

_The next day passed such as the first night, trapped in her locked room, the feeling of being stalked never faded, it increased, along with the fear. She was astonished by this new treatment from her team, the only family she had ever had. Did they really believe she's mental? Didn't the thought of checking on her cross their minds? At least once! But this didn't matter then, what really mattered was her fear, she realized she was waiting for her end, and she could do nothing about it but wait, wait with terror. She felt those two days pass like decades, no, centuries! _

_Night came, the end was close. She could feel the door open again, revealing him in the doorway, hate and fury drawn on his face and said: 'Follow me! It's time to pay!'_

_**You belong to me…**_

_**My snow white queen…**_

_**There's nowhere to run, so let's just get it over…**_

_**Soon I know you'll see, you're just like me…**_

_**Don't scream anymore, my victim, cause all I want is you …**_

_She tried to escape, do anything to avoid her fate, only to be stopped by his sword and his sentence: 'You can't escape your fate!'_

_She followed him obediently out of the robot. Clouds filled the once clear sky, causing the cold rain to fall, droplets of hail from the clouded sky raced to fall on the ground, the high-pitched sound of thunder and the blinding lightning forced every living being to seek a shelter._

_Walking in this weather caused her to shiver more, from the cold she always hated and the fear of Mandarin's payment. Cold drops of rain fell on her, making her literally wet, literally terrified. She felt her knees buckle, and the thoughts began running in her mind…_

'_Did he mean to drag me in the cold for my fear of it?'_

'_Did he mean to punish me in the weather I hate most?'_

'_What was he planning to do?'_

_He reached a place where the thunder was louder, the lightening was brighter, the rain reached her knees, which were shaking. She trembled with fear._

'_I forgive you,' He said in a stern tone, 'but only if you rule the city with me?'_

'_Rule the city?'_

'_We can't remain slaves for these vulnerable humans, we have to rule over the city.'_

_The hail increased…_

'_But we were created to protect, not rule.'_

'_We were created to achieve peace in the cosmos, conquering the city will make us closer.'_

'_But-'_

'_But what? Think for once in your life my dearest Nova!'_

'_I'll never agree on such decision, nor the rest.'_

'_If they don't our power will be enough to remove them out of the way.'_

'_Why me? For being the strongest? Why?'... *silence* 'Cause all you want is power, all you care about is yourself, you treated me badly since you took hold of the team, you treated me like your enemy, now you want me, WHY?...'_

_A large ray of lightning strikes the ground…_

'_I admit I was strict on all of you, but that was for your benefit, I wanted all of you to be stronger to-'_

'_Help you when you decide to rule, increase your power, YOU AND YOUR UNLIMITED DESIRE FOR POWER!'_

'_Keeping the cosmos safe requires power, more and more power.'_

_The ear-splitting sound of thunder can be heard…_

'_Stop lying! You want all the power for yourself, you want to rule everything, even me!'_

'_I'm giving you the choice, my dear.' *Moves closer to her wet, shaking body* 'I want you to rule with me, I want you to be my queen.' *Puts his arm on her cheek, she immediately shoves it away*_

'_I would rather be dead than to be with you, you selfish craver for power. I knew it all along, but had no proof, I knew all you want is yourself and power.' *She backs off*_

_A voice can be heard from the bushes nearby…_

'_Like you have a proof or time to tell them!' *Moves closer to her*_

_*She steps away, only to fall in the muddy water*_

_*He cups her chin* 'And even if you had, did you forget that you're mental? I can forget all the rubbish you said and give you a second chance, just accept.'_

_*She looks at him with fake fury and anger* 'I told you I would rather die than be with you!'_

'_Remove your mask of fury and anger you coward, you think I don't know you that you're really a coward, I know all your fears and secrets. I know that fear is always in your mind, taking over all the time! I shall end your existence!'_

_He hit her with his sword and dragged her to a dark, haunted castle that was left abandoned for decades._

_She tried to resist his grip, but ended with nothing but more pain, anguish and mud covering her entire body._

_**You belong to me…**_

_**My snow white queen…**_

_**There's nowhere to run, so let's just get it over…**_

_**Soon I know you'll see, you're just like me…**_

_**Don't scream anymore, my victim, cause all I want is you …**_

_He entered the dark castle, the sounds of bats were heard inside, and shoved her into a corner, saying: 'Your end is now!'_

_She screamed loudly and desperately, she didn't want to die, she didn't want to end like that, but she would never end as a slave disguised as a queen._

_Her final question was: Death or Slavery?_

_Death is better, but she won't surrender, she used all the power left in her fragile body to activate her fists and lunge at him._

_He easily dodged it and stabbed her with his sword in her arm, making it much harder for her to defend herself._

_However, she was determined to fight till her last breath, she charged at him with her good arm, but after all, his moves were better and he slammed her painfully into the wall. She screamed until her voice was inaudible._

_She struggled to stand on her feet and attempted to twirl him around the castle, only to be twirled in return and hurled on the firm ground with a thud._

_**Wake up in a dream…**_

_**Frozen fear…**_

_**All of your weapons on me…**_

_**I can't scream…**_

_She couldn't make any more move, she lied there silently, ready for her grim fate._

_He approached her bruised, motionless corpse, covered in mud and blood oozing from her deep wounds, ready to do the final move, saying: 'Say goodbye to your life!'_

_**You belong to me…**_

_**My snow white queen…**_

_**There's nowhere to run, so let's just get it over…**_

_**Soon I know you'll see, you're just like me…**_

_**Don't scream anymore, my victim, cause all I want is you …**_

_**All I want is you…**_

_**All I want is you…**_

_**All I want is you…**_

_As he prepared his last blow, he fell motionless on the ground. Behind him a short person wearing a long, flowing, wet cloak stood with a metallic tube in his hand._

_Her eyes widened with shock but relief at the spectacle. Her savior pointed with his hand at the exit and gave her his hand, which was concealed with a black pair of gloves. She struggled to get up with his help and tried to drag herself out of the castle but collapsed in return from the unbearable mental and physical pain she suffered._

***SPOVAISIMMORTAL***

_She opened her eyes again, she saw the med bay and a frantic Sprx watching over her. She tried to get up but he stopped her, saying: 'Don't get up. You need rest.'_

'_What brought me here?' She asked, pretty relieved but feeling cold and tired._

'_My apologies, Nova, we misunderstood the fact that you were speaking the truth. Referring to your question, Sprx found you unconscious in front of the robot's foot, and a tape as well.' Gibson said while reading something on the screen and interrupting Sprx who was going to reply._

'_Tape?!' She wondered._

'_Yes it recorded what happened right after Mandarin took you outside.' Sprx replied._

'_We have to be grateful, if that tape wasn't recorded we would never have discovered the truth. We might also have been killed!' Gibson said, holding the tape wondering at its ridiculous label: 'Mandarin is a bastard, dork, traitor, brat… *A lot of other nasty words* hmmm, I wonder who recorded it.' _

_Sprx snickered at the mention of the label, 'He's much worse!' Nova whispered, causing Sprx to stop snickering and turn to her, while struggling to say: 'W-what did you do with him?'_

'_Otto and Antauri found him unconscious in the castle and he's going to be the newest inmate of the ring prison. Now rest.' Gibson replied, making her shiver again from fear and cold._

'_Don't worry, it's all over now, he's gone.' Sprx said, patting on her shoulder 'You're so cold! Gibson she's shivering!' He placed his arm on her forehead and immediately took it away. 'Gibson, her temperature! GIBSON!' He heard Gibson's scream and a loud thud. 'What's going on?' He rushed out of the sickbay, she right after him, shivering._

_Yes, Mandarin woke up and was attacking them._

_Outside, he saw an angry Mandarin pummeling the rest and Antauri reasoning with him. 'There's no reasoning with him!' He said as he attacked Mandarin with his magnets and kno_c_ked him to the wall. 'I've always wanted to do that!'_

_Mandarin swiftly got up and lunged at Sprx, attempting to stab him with his sword, 'And I wanna do-' only to be stopped by Nova's shaking fist, which somehow managed to throw him in a corner._

_All of them approached their fallen former leader, surrounding him, 'You're no more our leader, Mandarin, all of us are fed up from your relentless treatment, endless criticism and your uncontrollable lust for power and control. You've passed over your boundaries and we can't let you get any farther.' Antauri calmly said, his suffer from Mandarin obvious in his tone._

_Antauri and Otto put him in stasis and confined him to the prison for the rest of his life, as they thought._

_Sprx turned his attention from the rare spectacle in front of him to Nova, who was badly shivering and shaking by then, then to Gibson and said in a very concerned tone: 'Gibson, Nova needs medical help, NOW!' and helped her to the sickbay, with Gibson following closely behind. _

'_You're safe now!' He said while taking her to the sickbay._

END OF FLASHBACK.

And whenever I'm afraid, this incident comes back to my head and binds my limbs with more fear.

A question pops into my mind: Who was that mysterious savior who saved me, who saved all of us from Mandarin and revealed his bad truth? Why didn't he reveal his identity?

I don't think I'll ever be able to know.

And although I'm safe now, and all this is a memory, I can't stop being afraid and terrified.

But, I recall Antauri saying to look on the bright side of any experience, and I guess there was a bright side of this terrible experience after all, and no, it's not like 'I became stronger' or any of this, it's bright side was that it revealed an other side of him, my dilemma, a caring heart was exposed.

That was the first time in my life when I was badly ill, he was there for me, by my side, I saw an utterly different side of him and that increased my hidden love for him, by a big degree I admit but didn't decrease the fear. I'm scared, and I can't help it!

I'M SCARED OF LOVE AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!

And I drifted into sleep.

***SPOVAISIMMORTAL***

I woke up late, got up from my bed and stretched my body and got out of my room.

Walking in the hall, I noticed his room's door open for the first time, and my curiosity forced me to peek inside. I approached the door. Luckily the room was empty, but something hanging on the wall caught my attention:

MY SAVIOR'S CLOAK AND GLOVES!

I was happy! Yes, happy! Happy because I might turn out to be wrong! I might find safety and happiness with him! I might be wrong about my fears! But sadly I'm not sure, I'm a coward.

Will these arguments and questions in my head ever come to an end?

Sprx, thinking of you confuses me!

**THE END**

***SPOVAISIMMORTAL***

**Please tell me how do ya think it is? **

**Masterpiece? I'm too cocky! Excellent? Average? Satisfactory? Bad? Sucks? **

**Tell me something…ANYTHING…just don't leave me confused and suspended.**

**And tell me if da songs did a good job in the story, or if I have to remove them.**

**I desperately need your opinion!**

**PLEASE!**

**UPDATE: **

**A few points I wanna discuss: **

**First of all, all the team suffered Mandarin's anger and wrath and were fed up of him, but Nova was the one who suffered the most. I couldn't write about that except in Antauri's sentence cuz it was NOVA'S story. (I might write their fearful experiences with him in another story, MIGHT!)**

**Since this story is mainly focused on Nova's love and fear, I couldn't point out that all the hyper force apologized to her, cause that wasn't a scary memory …but they did apologize to her later.**

**Many of you might wonder why the hyper force didn't check on Nova for two days….. that was because whenever any of them suggested so, Mandarin would threaten him and refuse. A hint in the story proving that they really DID care was that Sprx felt that something was really wrong and kept an eye on her, thus ruining Mandarin's evil plans. So please don't think that they didn't care. But, they, excluding Sprx, who couldn't believe it, really thought she was mental. This was because it was utterly impossible for them to believe that Mandarin, their leader, intended to kill Nova, their teammate,he might have been quite harsh on then but has never gone to the extent of threatening someone's life that badly. So, the only other explanation to the situation was that she was affected mentally.  
**

**I wrote these points because of a certain review, which I'm thankful for, you'll point it out easily.**

**ANOTHER UPDATE:  
**

**Grungekitty's review points out that there are some similarities between this story and 'Spova Short' her story.  
**

**After re-reading her story, I realized that she might be right.  
**

**After a few minutes of wondering how I couldn't point it out myself, I came to the conclusion that it might be really one of the inspirations for this story.  
**

**Note that I would never re-use a part of any other external thing beside my imagination without crediting that it was one of the inspirations.  
**

******MISSsweety63**


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